Simply Audiobooks Inc.

If you’re a subscriber to the Simply Audiobooks e-mail newsletter, then you might have noticed the short story contest in the last edition. Well, the deadline has come and gone and we have received a total of nine short story submissions for your reading pleasure. Vote on your favorite member-submitted story and participate in crowning the winner of this month’s contest.

The winner’s story will be published in the next Simply Audiobooks newsletter, and the author will receive a copy of the 31-hour epic Chronicles of Narnia Boxed Set.

So, without further ado, here are the entrants to Simply Audiobooks’ Short Story Contest, March 2007:

1. Last Laugh by Frank Racioppi – MP3
2. In the Voice of the Earth by Darvin L. Martin – MP3
3. The World at My Fingertips by Steve Welker – MP3
4. IV by Jason Orders – MP3
5. In The Moment by Thelma L. Trickett – MP3
6. Off The Wagon by Michael Perl – MP3
7. The Drop by Charlie M. Mitchell – MP3
8. A History of my Silence by Genevieve Crane – MP3
9. Fighting Back Against Road Rage by Anonymous – MP3

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Thank you very much to all of the Simply Audiobooks members who took time out of their busy schedules to submit a story, as well as to all of the readers who take time to read and vote on a favorite story. You’re welcome to discuss your thoughts on the entries in the comment section of this post. May the best story win!

I saw a great movie on the weekend, “Namesake“, about a South Asian family growing up in the US. Kind of like the Godfather, but without the killing, the mafia, dead horses and Marlon Brando. I use this incredibly lame reference to one of the greatest movies ever because they really did have something in common. As good as the books were, both movies were better than the books.

I was mentioning this opinion to a friend of mine, saying “As much as I enjoyed reading the book….” and was immediately interrupted with, “reading? READING? You snub your own product?” I laughed it off, but did feel a bit embarassed about the comment. Of course there are times for audiobooks and time for regular books. Just as there are times for movies.

It reminded me that although I listen to audiobooks to enjoyably pass otherwise dead time, the long term benefit is that I simply read more books. My retort to my friend though was, “At least I read the book.” Ha. And I LOVE our own product.

Linda Knapp writes in an audiobook article in the Seattle Times, about her experiences in getting audiobooks in all the various formats and channels that she’s experimented with. She points out that renting audiobooks is the least expensive way of getting the books, whether at the library, or (slightly less less expensive) through Simply Audiobooks.

The thing I took away most from the article was the sheer breadth of options that libraries are offering to their patrons to get them hooked on audiobooks. It’s impressive, and it’s great for the audiobook industry in general, because 70% of audiobook listeners get their books from libraries. And eventually as they want broader selection, they migrate to commercial audiobook sources. As with books, library usage only stokes demand, it doesn’t cannibalize (overall) from commercial book sales.

I’m just happy that lots of people are listening. Even from the competition, although that makes me slightly less more happy.

I got one of the new-fangled eBook readers in my hands from ebookwise. It’s not perfect, but it’s certainly useable enough to get me thinking about eBooks, which I’d written off mentally a few years ago because I read one book on my Palmpilot. Three years later I had to get my laser eye surgery re-done, and I’m pretty sure the eBook is the reason why.

What are the features of eBooks? They’re downloadable, with instant access (like audio books). They is a massive inventory of books – about 65,000, better than any audiobook collection. You can put a bunch of books on a single device, instead of buying one and having an 800 page door-stopper kicking around. They are usually encrypted (digital rights management). And not enough people know about them.

But the way in which they’re most like an audio book is that… they’re not books. Readers have a choice of getting their book content in many ways that are not a book. Movie adaptations, book summaries, ebooks, and audiobooks, not to mention all the formats for some of them, like download, tape, and CD for audiobooks.

Why is this important? Because the major book stores and book publishers make their money from books, not from not-books. And that’s why they’re not advertised, and not more popular, despite clear advantages that each has. I frequently hear from people that books are meant to be read on paper, that there is something romantic about the feel of turning pages. Give me a break. There’s something romantic about riding horses too, but you won’t find any on I-5 at 4pm.

But, despite inattention – not-books are growing in popularity. I’m not saying you should sell your horse, but take back the downpayment on the younger model.

Here’s something I don’t get. Some audiobooks I listen to have nice introductory music: “…tum ta ta tum, and now from Random House audiobooks we bring to you the latest from author…tum ta ta tum tum TA TUM” and the next thing you hear is the narrator saying, “Chapter 1″.

Now, we record some of our own audiobooks, and we’ve also licensed for rental some audiobooks where music becomes a big deal. You have to come up with something original so you don’t have to pay royalties, or, you pay royalties to the original copyright holder. This can get to be quite the hurdle for smaller publishing houses.

Ever wonder why you don’t see re-runs of “WKRP in Cincinnati”? It was a show about a radio station, and had lots of clips from songs of the day. In syndication, whoever wants to show the show (so to speak), has to pay royalties to the original copyright holders for each and every little bit of music on each show. Just FINDING the copyright holders is difficult enough.

So here’s the part I don’t get. Why bother? Isn’t content king? I don’t remember ever caring that an audiobook did or didn’t have the little musical interludes. It just signals for me when things are beginning or ending. Why can’t they just say, “And now… the beginning”? There must be an audiobook sound editor in the mists of antiquity who had aspirations of pop-music stardom, who put in some crappy jingle at the beginning of an audiobook, and then everybody started copying it, figuring if everyone else was doing it, they had to too.

On that subject, why do real estate agents have their picture on their business cards? Once I thought it was so you could recognize them when they met you at a house – but the pictures hardly ever look like them. Glamour Shots’ entire business must be based on the real-estate industry.

I just want to clarify my last post. An accountant friend of mine took offense at what he thought was a slight against accountants – that tax/accounting books were so boring, because accountants are boring, that you’d go off the road and hit a tree.

No, I said “WANT to hit a tree”. Meaning you’d give up hope on humanity once you really understand how badly the government handles taxes and how much we pay in taxes. Death and taxes, much like peanut butter and chocolate, go great together.

Next I’ll hear from the Sierra Club that I’m advocating violence against trees.

With the tax preparation deadline only 6 weeks away, I’m engrossed in a couple of books I picked up on the subject of tax planning. It’s amazing how much stuff there is that you can take advantage of, but that your accountant won’t tell you about. You can find out some of it in this audiobook, “Secrets of Great Investors”.

For some reason, there aren’t many audiobooks out there on taxes and accounting. Probably because they would make you want to crash your car into a tree.

I just finished listening to “If You Don’t Have Big Breasts, Put Ribbons in Your Pigtails” by Barbara Corcoran. Excellent book about Corcoran’s corporate success in the real estate field, with great anecdotes from her career, and all based on lessons she learned by watching her mom while growing up.

The only question I have is, where did this title come from? The book was originally called “Use What You’ve Got”, which is a bit more wieldy, but apparently less marketable. I don’t know if people are selecting this book because they think it’s erotica, but it’s definitely more popular in its panoramic softcore guise . While I feel sorry for the poor boobs who accidentally added this to their listening queues, I do feel good for Ms. Corcoran, whose royalty checks must by now be dampening any disappointment over her dearth of double-D’s.

I’m thinking now I should change this blog’s title. Something like “I Don’t Have Clever Text, But You May Find Inappropriately Suggestive Phrasing if You Look Hard Enough.” Or not.

I thought after I made my recent move closer to the office that I’d be listening to audiobooks much less because now it’s 9 minutes on the road instead of 45. But I’ve discovered that I listen to them just as zealously on a 10 minute trip to the grocery store as I did on the dazzlingly long highway ordeal of the last 2 years.

For one thing, I don’t listen to traffic reports on the radio any more. The worst thing that can happen on my way to work now is that I have to stop and get a donut while the disturbance up ahead clears up in a few minutes. For another, my mind is much clearer because I’m not stressed about being late, so I don’t have to  listen to soothing music. But really, it’s just that I love audiobooks so much that I’ll find any excuse to listen, no matter how long I’m in the car. I suspect now I’ll have less patience for a bad book, but I think that’ll be the only effect.

So for those of you who have much, much longer commutes than I’ve ever had to deal with, rejoice! You no longer have to live far away from the office just so you can make sure you listen to the audiobooks you love.