Simply Audiobooks Inc.

Forget using Twitter to find out what salad dressing your best friend chose at lunch. Instead you can read the latest poem by an award-winning author.

“Short, lucid writing is needed in these uncertain times” says Booker prize-winner Ben Okri, who is releasing a new poem to the masses though his Twitter account, line by line.

Cool, right?

Don’t forget to find Simply Audiobooks on Twitter and Facebook for all the latest audio book news.

(For anyone that’s wondering, I think I’m going to go with the balsamic vinaigrette today. YUM.)

If you’re on Twitter and you tweet about audiobooks – chances are, I’ll find you. How’s that for creepy on a Friday morning?

Seriously though, I search for audiobook posts on a daily basis to see what people are talking about, and I’ve made it a habit to ‘favorite’ the ones I like best. If you check out our list of favorited tweets you can peruse what has turned into a nice mix of sentimental, practical, funny, and random posts.

For your enjoyment, and mine, here’s a selected few. Happy Friday

@thmstrnr is working and listening to Pride and Prejudice on audiobook. So much pride, so much prejudice, and so much suspense!

@desanders If they pimped my ride, my Escort would be a bitchin bookmobile with audio books in 7000 watt surround sound, and pimpin chrome rims.

@TThoFoSho Audio books are better when not on shuffle.

@kabilliam did it! 7 months, 2 companion guides, the original text, and the audio book – I finished Ulysses! Take that Joyce, you stupid genius!

@kristen14i is getting really annoyed that my neighbors keep blasting mystery books on tape. Even worse, now I want to know what happens next.

@Ashley1000Words I find myself narrating my life in my head as if someone is reading my life story. This must be a side effect to listening to books on CD.

@PoppyBuxom Traffic jams are an ideal time to put on makeup, listen to audiobooks, and swear at other drivers in American Sign Language.

Fans of Alexander McCall Smith‘s The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency now have the TV series to look forward to thanks to HBO.

Starring R&B singer-songwriter/poet/actress Jill Scott as main character Precious Ramotswe, the series chronicles her adventures as the cheerful proprietor of the first and only female-owned detective agency in the African Nation of Botswana. (This is the first major film/TV project to be shot entirely on location in Botswana.)

For details when you can catch the series in your area, check the following links:

In Canada http://www.hbocanada.com/no1ladies/

In The States http://www.hbo.com/no1ladiesdetectiveagency/

Haven’t read the book yet? Grab the audiobook and see which is better – the book or the series. The previews look good, but I’m one of those perversely unyielding book lovers who refuses to ever even consider the notion that a TV or movie version could ever even come close to the book. (Save, maybe, the first couple Harry Potters.)

….

…maybe.

Want to try Simply Audiobooks? Now you can, FREE. No, we’re not crazy (at least not all of us). We’re bringing back our popular no-risk free trial promotion!

Sign up today and try our member favorite 2-at-a-Time rental subscription for 15 days free. As a privileged Simply Audiobooks member, you’ll get the following perks:

- Choose from over 22,000 audio books to listen to
- Get unlimited rentals per month, and free shipping, BOTH ways
- Absolutely no due dates or late fees
- Save up to 70% off the cost of buying

Don’t wait. Join Simply Audiobooks today. Our books are guaranteed to put a ‘spring’ in your step!

Before you press stop on your discman and stuff your copy of Herotica deep into the dark recesses of your purse, looking around frantically at who might have seen you… is that a cop? It looks like a cop. It IS a cop and he saw me. He *knows*. Oh god, he knows, he’s looking at me and I have evidence on me – CALM DOWN.

Seriously. Calm down.

Unless you’re a worker at this Chinese online producer and distributor of erotic audiobooks. Then, continue to panic. Chinese police recently detained four workers at ilisten.cn, a company that provides erotic audiobooks as part of a crackdown on what police are calling”Internet smut”.

(Psssst. For a full list of Simply Audiobooks’ perfectly legal and delightfully entertaining erotica audiobooks click here.)

Sorry we’re a day late. But it was so nice outside yesterday that we took our traditional Irish celebration of green beer and guacamole (what? it’s green, too) out onto the patio and well… only the leprechauns know happened next. Needless to say, we weren’t able to update the Simply Audio Blog.

However, if you’re still up for all things Irish (or you just can’t get those pub songs out of your head from last night) pick up a copy of Classic Irish Short stories.

These short stories, read brilliantly by T.P. McKenna, are sure to capture your imagination and bring out the Irish in all of us – even more so than a pint of green beer and some guacamole dip!

James Patterson’s latest book in the Maximum Ride series is available at Simply Audiobooks starting today!

If we do say so ourselves, the timing couldn’t be better. With the kids off for March Break, we know you’ll be looking for something for them to read and the Maximum Ride series is sure to be a hit.

Add Max: A Maximum Ride Novel to your rental shelf, download the WMA file or purchase the book on CD. It’s also perfect for that ‘nay-cation’ you may be taking — follow Max and her Flock to Hawaii! Yeah, they’re busy saving the fish and ocean and stuff, but, THEY’RE IN HAWAII!

Really, don’t we all just wish we were in Hawaii right now?

OMG OMG OMG. Michael Jackson is performing again! Before you get too excited, tickets for all 50 of Jackson’s shows at London’s O2 Arena have completely sold out. Major bummer.

So imagine my surprise when I happened to come across Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time narrated by Michael Jackson! HA!

But seriously, just imagine that for a second. It’s Friday afternoon, you’ve got time.

Yes, likely it’s not THE Michael Jackson, though I haven’t actually listened to it, and I have heard rumors that Michael Jackson is broke…

Picture it: the first chapter could be called Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’: The Big Bang Theory– it would totally Rock My World. And if I didn’t understand it, which I likely wouldn’t, I could just Blame It On The Boogie.

Bad (*ahem* that was the last one I promise) jokes aside, narrators make pretty good coin. You have to admit, actually hearing The Gloved One read A Brief History Of Time would be incredibly awesome on so many levels. If I was rich beyond belief, or like, Sir Richard Branson decided to leave me his entire fortune tomorrow, I would totally make that happen.

This week, with the change to Daylight Savings Time, most of us crash as soon as our head hits the pillow. It’s only an hour, but it really does mess me up! I’m just now slowly emerging from a zombie-like state of supreme sleepiness. (Coincidentally just in time for the weekend! Yes!)

However, if any of you are having trouble sleeping, listen to any one of our audio books narrated by David Attenborough. In 20 minutes you’ll be sound asleep- guaranteed.

It’s not that he’s boring, or that he narrates boring books. He’s a great narrator, with a very pleasing voice. Actually I think that’s his problem. When I hear him talk I find it so soothing– he puts me to sleep every time.

In addition to lending his voice to audio books, David also recently narrated the Planet Earth series, which I was excited to receive as a gift this Christmas. It’s a really good series. I’m amazed at the lengths the videographers went to in order to capture nature like it has never been seen before. The shots are astounding, but I can never make it past one episode without falling asleep on the couch and drooling into my popcorn.

Frankly, I blame Attenborough. He has this hypnotizing effect on me that I can’t seem to control. Is it just me? I mean, it would be terrible if he was constantly putting his wife to sleep or something. Or maybe that was his plan all along.

Yes. Today is the official day Chuck Norris round-house kicked his way out of his mother’s stomach and invented the Cesarean section. So I guess technically this post should be entitled “Happy Birthday Chuck Norris and the Cesarean Section” but only one of them has an audio book. Also, only one of those things is the reason Waldo is still in hiding… so…

Technically though, Chuck doesn’t write books, the words just assemble themselves out of fear. Then, in this case Michael Norris read those words, also likely out of fear, and because Chuck was off destroying the periodic table (he only recognizes the element of surprise) … and the audio book was born!

In honour of Chuck Norris’ birthday, we recommend you read the audio book. Actually, we demand it. In case you were wondering, America is not a democracy. It’s a Chucktatorship. So get your fill of Chuck Norris Facts, tshirts, and audio books today. And be sure to check your closet for Chuck Norris, not the Boogey Man, before you go to sleep tonight!

P.S. If you’ve got some extra time on your hands. Google “find Chuck Norris” and click the “I’m feeling lucky” button. It’s amazing – I swear on Chuck Norris.