How Can I Get Through To You?

Version: Abridged
Author: Terrence Real
Narrator: Terrence Real
Genres: Self Development, Relationships, Health & Wellness, Marriage & Family
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Published In: January 2002
# of Units: 4 CDs
Length: 4 hours
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Why is love between men and women so difficult? In this groundbreaking new audiobook, bestselling author Terrence Real analyzes the crisis in intimate relations, a crisis that has lasted over a generation, yielding divorce rates of 40-50%. Our culture prepares us to fall in love, but it does not give us the skills we need to stay in love. Here Real offers a radical new vision of love and the practical tools with which to achieve it.

The current crisis is a product of changing gender roles. In the last generation, women's roles have changed radically and men's have not. For the first time, women are insisting that their partners access the very skills -- emotional sensitivity, expressiveness, responsibility -- that most men have had stamped out of them as boys. Patriarchal culture does not raise boys to be intimate; it raises them to be competitive performers. At the same time, girls are taught to be compliant and accommodating. The result is that men feel bewildered and unappreciated while women feel unheard and resentful. Conventional therapy, which reinforces "traditional" male roles, has failed. The demand for intimacy in marriage must be met with new skills.

Real draws on myth, literature, film, and stories of the men and women he treats to illustrate his compelling analysis. Breaking taboos about love, marriage, and passion, Real not only reconstructs gender roles but also shows that patriarchy's idealized model of love is impossibly flawed. He teaches partners to replace it with a love that acknowledges imperfections and then provides five Core Relational Skills designed to help every couple reach their full potential. How Can I Get Through to You? is the audiobook that every couple has been waiting for -- and our culture needs.

Reviews (2)

How Can I Get Through To You?

Written by Anonymous on October 16th, 2007

  • Book Rating: 2/5

I think this could have been a good book for me & my sig other if I were able to get through it. The case studies were good. My book started skipping through 1 & 2. I had to stop.

Good Book

Written by Anonymous from Raleigh, NC on March 7th, 2007

  • Book Rating: 4/5

This book gives some good information about what is necessary in order to have a healthy & intimate relationship (which also menas accepting that it won't be perfect). I really enjoyed the examples the author gave and found especially inspiring when he talked about his own marriage and his own limitations. I thought it was courageous of him to do so. Worth renting.

Author Details

Author Details

Real, Terrence

Terrence Real is a psychotherapist in private practice. He has taught couples and family therapy, principally at the Family Institute of Cambridge, for twenty years. He lives with his wife and two sons in Newton, Massachusetts.